Apr 30, 2011

Bad mama!

Today has been the first real "bad mommy day" since the colossal mind melt earlier this month. Okay, so it is 12:30 am, and technically now May, so all that was last month, but we will go with my husband's rule.... "time does not change until after I go to sleep". So in my mind, it is still the last day of April.

So earlier today (or call it yesterday if you want to keep it real) my little three decided that if they all behaved equally naughty, mom would allow it with retribution, because of safety in numbers, right? *insert melting brain here*

It felt like a country western song. Mom wanted to sleep, the phone was ringing, the baby was whining for breast milk, the 6 year old was wanting to tattle, and the 2 year old wanted a "poopy prize". I thought everything was settled back into place, and I was going to try to get a few more minutes of sleep, when the baby boy decided he was fat, full, and flippin' jubilant! There goes my lazy Saturday.

I should have known it was going to be one of those days, everyone was crying and fighting. It took me a full hour to get a sip of my then cold coffee. By lunchtime I was DONE. I put the sleeping baby, and the 2 year old down for naps. The 6 year old was soon sent to nap too after he demonstrated his own fatigue. However, no one napped! All three were exhausted, but no one napped. By around 3pm, I was in tears.

Of course, as soon as I had sufficiently filled my bladder with iced coffee, and was about ready to start dinner, not only did the baby, but also the 2 year old fell asleep. Thankfully the 14 year old walked in from playing to get a drink, and I asked him to hold the (now crying) baby so I could make Fra Diavolo Sauce With Farfalle Pasta, and broccoli. I changed it up a bit, I used fresh tomatoes and added some white wine. I also used only shrimp (doubled), cooked it longer, and served over farfalle (bow tie pasta) instead of linguini. I thought it might be too spicy, so I made some Cabernet Marinara with Herbs for the little ones, but offered them both. I think they favored the spicy shrimp sauce. I had to giggle a bit because they started fighting over who could have the last of the broccoli, they all decided they had not had enough, and Austin rushed in to make sure everyone got two more pieces.

We made a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies, and at them hot, with cold glasses of milk. We were all sleepy, and I decided after everyone was in bed, that I would slip into a hot bath and then go to bed early myself..... but first let me just fix this spam problem real quick. Real quick. Famous last words.

At 10:19 PM, my darling husband gets on Skype. I tell him "Don't laugh, but I have such a headache. And it is all from reading confusing stuff." He reassures me he is not laughing. "Owie, hurty head. .htaccess is so confusing." He tells me he doesn't know what .htaccess is (I didn't either until today. I explain what it is, what it does, and what I am using it for. I will not quote what I said because it consists of several F bombs, and other colorful expletives... and I would like to remain classy.

I tell him "Half my face is limp. I must have stroked out somewhere between .htaccess ssh and ftp". My darling husband says "I want to see", and starts a video conference. *sigh* At 10:44, about the time I told him my brain was made of pudding, and drool was dripping out of my half-limp stroked out face, the butt tells me "I have worse problems btw. I can not find my hair brush."

While his hair WAS quite poofy, by this time I was ready to hang myself by my shoe laces. I had no less than 15 tutorials open, terminal, my ftp, a glass of wine and my sanity was long gone. Four minutes later, he proclaims all is right in the world, he has found his hair brush. Well lah dee freakin' dah! He then asked me if that was my soul he saw leaking out of my eyes. Well yes it is.

At 11:36, he tells me he has to go to work. And I tell him I have to bash my skull in with a baseball bat. A little after 12:10am, I figure out the problem. The file I was looking for could EASILY be created by opening a simple word processor, uploading it to my ftp (server), renaming it, and then editing it with the script I wanted, and voila, spammer would be 404ed. I have no idea if my 2-3 hours worked, but I guess I will find out soon enough when my spam folders keep filling up. AHHHH, what a nightmare!

So now that it is 2am, I can finally climb into bed, and in 4 hours I can start this all over again. Sleep deprived and crabby. As soon as I finish knitting this last row real quick.

Apr 21, 2011

Lazy meat, quit yer loafin'

Nothing says "I have too many leftovers, no imagination, and a chunk of ground beef" like meatloaf. What other meal allows you to simultaneously clean out your fridge, hide produce, and feel good about giving your kids a hot meal with just some easy prep and patience. I found that after just a few times, I no longer needed a cook book, or as just meat. I do have a couple shortcuts to share though:

  1. Use a good food processor. I like the Euro-Pro Ninja Master Prep Blender and Food Processor, it makes me feel like a real ninja with all the rogue veggies I can puree and hide into what the kids think is a pure hunk of meat.
      The problem with the Ninja though, is it attracts my 6 year old like a moth to a flame, or as I say a cat to an electric can opener. With an audience, you have to be even more of a ninja to toss in the green beans from last night, a couple raw carrots, an onion, a tomato, or whatever you have on hand that is raw or requires a good blending. You may have to threaten your kids with certain death, amputation of fingers, or starvation if they are picky and you don't want them to see how you make your 'secret sauce'.

  2. Once you have your paste resembling a bowl of baby crap, scrape it into the Kitchenaid mixing bowl. You can also toss in more leftovers, some examples include: rice from when you had Chinese takeout, whatever that was in the Tupperware container that vaguely smells like potatoes, actual mashed potatoes, etc. Get creative here, this is where your leftovers get eaten up and not composted.

  3. Toss in a couple eggs, and now raid your condiments. You can add ketchup, or BBQ sauce, mustard if you like, worshesher-whatever sauce, etc. Throw in some random spices that smell good, some milk, and a dry ingredient like crackers, bread crumbs, or oatmeal. Mix all these in your stand mixer, and let it sit for a couple minutes to turn into a gross looking, gelatinous mess.

      I read somewhere that the key factors to the perfect fluffy meatloaf are to let the dry ingredients sit and get soggy. Also, to not molest the meat... err, in other words, you don't over-mix the ground beef, so pre-mixing the other ingredients well is really important.

  4. This is where my love affair with my Kitchenaid mixer was born. Use the dough hook that comes with it, add your meat and then mix. No longer do I have to relish in the joy of cold, raw, ground meat between my fingers, the booger-eating cousin to the much cooler sand between my toes, illegitimate son of the promiscuous between my legs and the ever brilliant between my ears.
      But I digress. Once your meat and mush have gently been mixed together, plop the whole thing into a baking dish on 350 and cook for an hour. You now have time to watch a show on the DVR, play a Facebook game, or kick the kids outside and hide in the bathroom with a book.

  5. When you hour of bliss is over, slather more condiments over the top, bake another 5 minutes, then serve. You can serve with a vegetable, or a starch or both. If I include enough veggies, I will let my kids believe they are getting off veggie-free and just serve with potato wedges or something. My boys are pretty good about eating their meatloaf, but my daughter isn't as wonderful. Then again, for the child who hates vegetables, she would pick a salad and plain white rice for dinner over meatloaf any day of the week.

Tonight the princess thought she would be slick. After all the kids had eaten, including the baby who happily nursed while I dislocated my shoulder to eat cold meatloaf, the ones who ate got fresh chocolate chip cookies. The princess decided she could skip her meal and go right to the cookie. When that didn't work, and screaming didn't make me give in, she resorted to climbing onto the counter, grabbing the Tupperware and running as fast as her stubby little legs would take her. She ended up going to bed without finishing her meatloaf, or a cookie, but she did end up going to bed with tons of tears. I think tonight mommy is going to drink a nice glass of wine for dessert, because mommy drinks when you cry.

*This is not a sponsored post, but Kitchenaid or Euro-Pro is welcome to send me a free gift for this post if they would like. I really want the mixing blade with the rubber spatula built in for my mixer or extra bowls for my ninja. *wink wink*

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

Usually I would agree that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, however on Facebook, that usually is not the case.

Oh wait, I need to back this up.... WAY up.

Back in February I learned my grandma was ill, in and out of the hospital. I won't go into details, but I will say we all had faith she would pull through this. When I say my grandma was someone we expected to live forever, I mean it. She was still driving a motor home at age 79. She had no limitations. She took amazing care of my grandpa who has had a lot of health issues since he broke his back 20 years ago, to include rods slipping from his back surgery, major heart attacks, and Parkinson's. My grandma cooked him 3 hot meals a day, kept the house spotless, the laundry immaculate, gave him all his medications, and still found time to do the daily crossword. Her mother lived to be 88 and died peacefully at home, in her sleep. I expected another 10 years out of my grandma, at least. Unfortunately, the treatment that was supposed to make her better, made her worse before it could make her better, and she just was too sick to handle the backslide. She passed away Monday. She was a little over 6 weeks away from her 80th birthday.

With Bobby in Afghanistan, and the funeral on the other side of the country, there was just no way I could make it. So I have been in a pretty bad mood. I am mourning the loss of my grandma, missing my husband, not getting much sleep at night, and my patience is completely shot. Just normal kid behavior is driving me up the walls. Now, add to that errands at Lowes, Costco, and K-Mart. Now sprinkle in 2 hours, two trips back into the store with a fussy baby, a major headache, and a Facebook friend invite from my dead grandma. Wait, what? Yes. I got a friend request from the afterlife.

My grandmother was a pretty hip woman, and had been on Facebook for over a year in order to keep updated on pictures and goings on with her friends and family. My mom isn't even on Facebook (but my dad is), so I thought it was maybe a memorial page added by one of her two daughters because they didn't know her password or something. So I added it, and sent a little note asking who was managing the page, and I get this back "it is me lois how r u". So now I am pissed, what kind of sick joke is this? I don't recognize the email, the birthday is wrong ('56, by 1956 my gma had already had my dad and his sister, and they were in school), but the name is right, and the profile picture is directly stolen from her profile.

About this time I get an IM from my cousin, who also could not get to the funeral. She says the person added her, and like me she assumed it was a memorial page. But then gets an IM from the person claiming they have "exciting news". K wishes she had played along with it, but obviously was so shocked by it all she told the person off and they unfriended her. She tried to report the page to Facebook, but the request has to come from my grandma's profile. My aunt reactivated the profile just to report it, but as of 19 hours after creation, the profile is still there. I have contacted all the people that received a friend invite, but cannot find any other way to get this profile removed. I am going to give this person the benefit of the doubt and say they didn't know that the profile belonged to someone who had passed away 48 hours earlier, and they did not set out to freak out the only two granddaughters who could not attend her services, but still, what kind of jerk makes a fake email (the email was created using the name of my gm's niece, also a FB friend), then a fake profile, and then tries to pass themselves off as someone else? Whoever you are FB-impersonator, I hope you are ready for a big old heaping spoonful of some negative karma.

Apr 15, 2011

Daddy's girl

Yesterday, Liam had his second follow-up appointment. When the nurse called us back, she directed us to go into the second room on the right, Sophie enthusiastically took off running, as she's used to us being seen at the end of the hall, not in the first exam room. Right then, one of the newer pediatricians stepped out into the hallway and saw my little blonde pixie running at him full speed. As a joke he crouched down and spread his arms open. Insert slow motion running and sappy music. I fully expected her to turn around, so the nurse and I just paused to watch how she would react.

To all of our surprise, she kept running and then flung herself into his arms, holding onto him tightly. He picked her up and hugged her and started walking towards us with Sophie still in his arms. He told me he was pretty surprised how social she is, he expected her to be somewhat shy. I explained that she was really missing her daddy right now, so she's a bit more affable right now. I think this statement made the doctor a little heartbroken, he has three little girls himself and could not imagine having to be away from them. To all the daddies (and mommies) out there, missing their sons and daughters, you have my complete sympathy. Especially to our troops, who not only risk their safety for our freedom, but miss out on time with their loved ones.

Oh, and Liam got a clean bill of health. She told me to take him off the albuterol, but to finish the antibiotics. His lungs sound fantastic, and she didn't think a follow up with neurology or pulmonology is necessary. She did say he is at a slighter risk of developing asthma when he's older, but given his family history, that comes to no surprise. We will just watch and wait and when another round of illness comes rolling through, you can guarantee I will be watching him like a hawk.

Apr 14, 2011

Pandora Radio - Slightly Paranormal

This one is going to be link heavy, watch out. So today I chose to make a station around a song I have had stuck in my head for weeks: M.I.A. - Paper Planes, and it seems almost none of the songs it played had to do with the original artist, or song, but instead were plucked straight from my memories or heart. The first song it played was a favorite from my teen years I have been hearing a lot on XM Radio, Lithium. The song is White Town - Your Woman, a few other songs played, but when Bob Marley - Three Little Birds came on, I *knew* that Pandora had a direct connection to my soul. See, two and a half years ago, when Bobby was in Iraq and we were waiting to hear where we were moving to, and it seemed like no one knew anything, and the news kept being delayed and canceled, I rediscovered this song and it has since been an obsession. I have a whimsical painting of three birds hanging in my hallway to remind me. I also picked my skin for Firefox to remind me, it says "Don't worry about a thing... Cause every little thing is gonna be alright...." My husband called me around this point and I got a little choked up and sentimental.

I song I have googled numerous times to find the name of played, Regina Spektor - Fidelity, but when the only lyrics you know is "and it breaks my heart" and "break my fall", you don't get very far. Same with Citizen Cope - Let The Drummer Kick, a song I thought was called "The Drama Kid" and could not understand why I could never find it via Google. Another song that I loved, and had to lyric search for a while back was Modest Mouse - Float On. Mad World - Gary Jules came on, a song that Bobby and I both love, but got a kick out of when they used it in a commercial for Gears of War 2, a game Bobby plays.

While I was ironing Bobby's shirts, and a funny thing happens to clean shirts when you apply hot steam. The scent of the person who wears them comes out and I found myself not just missing my husband today, but really missing him. I miss him every hour of every day, but thankfully I only get that hole in my heart deep loneliness every once in a while. The song that came on just then was Geto Boys - Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta, a song I have not heard since middle school, and there I was, ironing, missing my husband, kicking it Gangsta style. I got a good chuckle and it lifted my spirits. Another throw back from a little further back in '88 was Pixies - Where Is My Mind.

The Postal Service - Such Great Heights played, which I love, and put on my Facebook about 6 months back, along with the Iron & Wine- Such Great Heights version because I had never realized that The Postal Service song was the same as the Iron & Wine version.

The kids and I had a great sweaty dance to Michael Franti & Spearhead - Say Hey (I Love You) and OutKast - Hey Ya!, two songs the kids have always loved. And several songs that Bobby used to sing by The White Stripes, OK Go, The Killers, and Cage The Elephant - Ain't No Rest For The Wicked, a song he was singing along with on the radio that I had never heard, which is unusual for us, usually I am the one to discover new artists. Of course there were a lot of other songs mixed in, these were just the main ones that really spoke to me, were songs I had been searching for in the past, or played when I needed them the most. However the Over the Rainbow song, by Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwo╩╗ole came on twice; this is a song I can no longer listen to because it reminds me of a schoolmate's tragic loss.

So I am not sure what all these songs and artists have in common, Pandora claims that it because I like "repetitive melodic phrasing" and "mild rhythmic syncopation", so I guess we will go with that. Whatever the reason, they complimented each other nicely, and made for a very happy day.

Apr 13, 2011

My boy said WHAT?

Matthew cracks me up, he is always saying something that makes me laugh, or just wonder where he comes up with this stuff. Sometimes he will make up fantastic stories, and is just so sincere about them you almost believe them. I have asked a few times if I need to call his teacher to find out if an event he told me really happened, to which he will quickly reply "I tricked you!"

Tonight he came out of his bedroom holding his toy turtle, who had his legs in handcuffs. One side held his front legs, the other shackle held his two back legs together. He says to me "my turtle was arrested. He shot his pet. He's being charged with hunting without a license". Where does he learn this stuff??

This weekend, my fried, who was staying with the kids, texted me that she had three little Matthewisms, as I call them, for me. One was when she was reading him the back of the Lego Batman video game case to him, including the rating, he said "I LOVE cartoon violence". He later told her "You have an awsomer house than us. We only have one ghosts, and you have lots of 'em". Later that same day, he explained to her that Toasted Oats (generic Cheerios) are healthier than Cheerios, because they have more fiber. Much like how he tried to explain to me that the cheese on the nachos I was making was the healthiest part, and when I told him it wasn't he said "I meant the beans, the BEANS are the healthiest part". He did the same with his snack I picked him up for school. His week to bring snack is "Vv" week, so for fun I got Vegetable Thins. The little goober grabs the box, looking at the pictures of vegetables and says "I am reading the label, yup, these look healthy and delicious." Then he pauses and says "What?!? No broccoli? But broccoli is the healthiest!! We need to take these back and get some that say 'Now, with broccoli!' because I would like those the best."

I could go on and on, like when he cried because his brother said he may need braces when he is 13 (he was 5 at the time) and cried because he would need braces soon, 8 years was just not that long at all. Or when the last tooth he was lost started wiggling and he cried because he didn't want to lose that tooth, it was his favorite tooth, and he tastes with that particular tooth. These are not the first two times we have had Matthewisms related to teeth, case and point see: "The butterfly will bite me!" and "Here fishy, fishy"


Tonight I broke down on the telephone with my husband. Liam squeaked though the baby monitor and I placed him on hold so I could put the monitor up to my ear and listen. I teased him for calling me a paranoid mom when he was driving us home from the hospital and at a red light I unbuckled and climbed over the seat to make sure my tiny little boy was not swallowed up by his giant car seat and that he was doing okay since he suddenly stopped crying. I remember him jokingly telling me I was acting like he was my first and not my fifth, and I remember explaining that I knew it wasn't rational, but this perfect little soul *scared* me.

I think as parents we all have irrational fears about our children. With my first baby I remember him sleeping past his normal 3am feeding time and waking up at 4am with engorged breasts and sobbing that my baby must have passed in his sleep. Rationally I knew he would eventually sleep through the night, irrationally I just knew SIDS must have claimed him. My husband was in boot camp and when he called the Sunday after that instant I burst into tears when I told him our boy was sleeping through the night. He also probably got an emotional letter in the mail as well.

Then my oldest son came into our life and I was always scared his birth mom was going to come steal him away. I knew her better than that, and I trusted her, but I was always so scared that I would pick him up from school and they would explain to me that he had already been picked up by the non-custodial parent.

Then my third baby came along, and I found something else to be irrational about. I wish I could remember, but he made it out of infancy unscathed. Our fourth baby, our first and only girl was born, and she scared me so bad that I would not allow my husband to get a vasectomy until she made it safely to her second birthday, ergo the reason we got our fifth and final child.

Today I was researching pediatric pulmonologists, allergists, and pediatric neurologists. EEGs, seizures, and breath holding spells (BHS). Logically, I know this was likely an isolated incident. Irrationally I have myself convinced I need to have him looked over by a room full od specialists. I think of unnecessary poking and prodding, tests, and procedures and I just cannot make myself put my little boy through this for something that happened one time.

When I heard my husband's voice tonight, I realized I was still wearing my brave mask. I was falling apart and not allowing anyone to see it. I have not taken time to allow myself to process the fear; to deal with the feelings, and to let myself admit how scared I was. I can still close my eyes and see the events of Friday night so clearly in my mind. The moment where I realized something was wrong. I wonder if I was as calm when I called the emergency dispatcher as I remember myself sounding. When I remember back to that night, I am on the outside, looking in. I cannot remember a single moment where I was ever that scared before.

I remember moments when my husband was in Iraq, and I heard about a casualty from his unit on the news. The fear I felt when he explained to me a building he was next to exploded and shrapnel was hitting his vehicle and it sounded like hail. I remember when helicopters I thought he was on went down, and then I did not hear from him for 20 days. I still cry at movies where they talk about the war, military casualties, or when bagpipes play "Taps". But if I have to put this in perspective, the fear I felt that night is 100x worse. I didn't let myself feel it though. Now that he is over the hurdle, and all he has is a lingering cough as he continues to work the crud out of my lungs, I find myself going back to that moment, and I find myself wanting to fall apart.

So tonight when Bobby called and asked how the kids were and then asked how I was, I started crying. I am a mess. And I feel SO guilty for feeling this way while so many people have dealt with so much worse. My heart goes out to all the parents who have had to face the loss of a child, or a spouse. For those who have children with chronic illnesses or disabilities. For anyone who has had to hear that they, or a loved one has a terminal illness. So tonight, when I allow myself to cry, and to allow myself to process the events of this last week, I will be thinking of everyone else who has also had to put on a brave face while they were falling apart inside.

Apr 12, 2011

Liam Update

We got home yesterday afternoon, it was so nice to be home, and I am so thankful to friends for watching my other children overnight and during the day, bringing food, sending me texts and Facebook messages of well wishes and prayers.

While we were being discharged, Liam's final labwork came back confirming that it was not RSV, not Pertussis and most likely pneumonia. They also told me pneumonia is normally caught at the second x-ray, so not to be confused or upset that his first one was clear. My nurses were wonderful those 2 1/2 days, they were very attentive to Liam and I, making sure I took care of myself and reminded me to eat and drink and get sleep when I could. On that last day, little man was so feisty, he removed half of his nasal cannula (it was turned off, but there just in case he needed it) so they went ahead and unhooked it instead of re-taping it. He ripped out his breathing monitor, so they removed it too. He got the hint and started working on pulling off his IV sock, but unfortunately that stayed in place until discharge, along with the O2 sensor on his toe that he kept trying to wiggle off.

He came home with antibiotics, and a cream to treat a rash from those antibiotics, as well as instructions to use his breathing treatments every 6 hours as needed. I learned the "blow by", where I point the spray near his mouth, is a LOT less stressful than the mask, which delivers more medicine, but causes him to panic and cry. The RTs (Respiratory Therapists), and Pediatricians agreed the extra dose of medicine is just not worth the cost of panic and confusion.

Last night was amazing, I missed my bed. A fold down chair in a hospital with nurses and RT's coming and going, monitors beeping, and lights shining through the curtain is just no match to a Sleep Number bed in a dark room with no noises. Liam's soft snores were comforting last night, I could hear the constant reminder that he was breathing rhythmically and easily. Liam went from waking every 3 hours to nurse at the hospital, to sleeping 9 long glorious hours at once. It was the little things that I enjoyed the most when we got home. Being able to hold my baby without cords and tubes. Of course having all 5 of my babies together. Being able to nurse my baby any where I wanted, and not be tied to a chair next to his bed. Coffee prepared the way I like it, when I want it, and as much as I want. And most of all knowing how having us home helps ease the worry and stress my kids and husband were going through, not being able to see Liam's progress, like I was.

What is a TENS unit?

While I was pregnant with Liam, I head a lot of women talking about using TENS Units for pregnancy back pain, and labor pains, like this LG-TEC Dual Combo TENS Unit and Muscle Stimulator. I had no idea what a TENS unit was, and today I just happened across an online customer blog that explained that a TENS unit, short for Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation, is a small portable electrical unit that sends mild electrical currents through the body to the pain source and disrupt the pain signal and possibly release endorphins (the body's natural "feel good" hormone). The blog goes on to say that EMS (Electronic Muscle Stimulators) can be a useful tool for increasing blood circulation, muscle tension, increasing range of motion, interrupt muscle spasms, and help chronic headache sufferers. For more information you can Visit LGMedSupply Online. I also want to stress that a TENS unit should ONLY be used under close medical supervision, and with a prescription.

And of course, I would like to add this disclaimer: The information included on this site is for educational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult his or her healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation or if they have any questions regarding a medical condition or treatment plan and all that other jazz.

Apr 9, 2011

Good thoughts needed

Writing this on my cell phone at the hospital. The tough day yesterday got worse. At 10pm I gave Liam his albuterol and he was fussy and sweaty, then I noticed his right eye wander up and back and his left eye off to the side. His face turned blue and his muscle tone turned limp. I called 911 and the fire department responded. His oxygen was low so we had him transported to the ER and they admitted him. He's stable now, but he is on lots of drugs and oxygen. They have not diagnosed anything, but pneumonia has been suggested. Please keep my sweetie in your prayers, he gave his family quite the scare.

Apr 8, 2011

Crazy long day

My younger 3 kids have been sick lately. It started last Monday when Matthew came home from kindergarten and just looked tired. He went and climbed into his bed and fell asleep, taking a 3 hour nap. Tuesday-Thursday I kept him home from school with a pretty loud, wet cough. Then Sophie was the next to come down with it, earlier this week she threw up a couple times. Then I mentioned her 104 fever and sudden arm and leg spasms in an earlier blog post. She's still feverish, but when I control the fever, she acts better. A few days ago, Liam, my 3 month old, started coughing a little bit. I watched him closely, but he seemed to be on the mend.

Well, today Liam just seemed *off*, he also looked flushed and felt warm to the touch. I took his temperature (100 by tympanic or ear, 101 rectally). I decided to call his ped after they opened back up from lunch to see if they could maybe squeeze him in with the nurse practitioner before the weekend, as my ped is normally slammed on Fridays because Thursday is her day off. I was in luck and they had an opening at 2:30. The nurse weighed him, 15lbs fully clothed in a cloth diaper, and then his ped came in and checked his breath sounds. She was perplexed because you could hear him wheezing, but his lungs sounded fine. His ears were a little watery, but she wasn't worried about that. She just didn't like his lungs though. He started coughing and getting worked up from her checking his ears and was breathing heavier so she listened again, and this time could hear crackling. She said if this was Sophie (I LOVE her, she remembered his siblings names either from checking in his chart before she came in the room, or just from knowing us), she would be fine with just pushing fluids and treating the fever, but because Liam is so young she wanted chest x-rays to rule out pneumonia.

We drove down to the block to the imaging place, and they put him in this mid-evil baby eating contraption called a pigg-o-stat. Basically it is a bicycle seat inside a lazy susan, and then these two clear petals swallow the baby, like a venus fly trap while the baby's hands are forced above his head. Let me tell you what, if you want to take your baby from sleeping, to screaming bloody murder in 2.3 seconds flat, the pigg-o-stat is the way to go. They like them crying though, it gives them a better picture if the lungs are expanded, however the poor sweet boy was so pooped, he had actually fallen asleep.

(Image courtesy of http://www.pnwx.com/Accessories/PatAsst/Restraints/)

After radiology we headed back to the pediatrician to find out the results of his imaging and she said it wasn't pneumonia, however she said his lungs looked like those of an asthmatic. His oxygen saturation was 90 and she likes it to be 94 or above so she gave him an albuteral breathing treatment. His ox sat only raised to 92, so she gave him another half a treatment and talked to me about admitting him to the hospital overnight for observation. After the second treatment it went up to 93, he coughed and it went up to 94. She gave me the option of sticking around a bit longer and if he was still doing okay she would send us home with the understanding that if anything changes, I call them... even if it is just my mommy senses tingling.

After she left the room he started doing this fast labored breathing, followed by him holding his breath, and grunting, and then rapid breathing again. This went on for a couple minutes, I almost thought maybe he was just tying to pass gas, but nothing changed so I poked my head out and called for the nurse, who called the doctor in again. She checked his ox-sat and it was still at 94, so she asked me to nurse him and watch him a bit longer. Nursing calmed him, so she called in a scirpt for albuteral and dispatched the home healthcare company to deliver him a nebulizer. Tomorrow morning he will be seen at 8:30am to see how he's doing.

I did see a funny sign at the coffee shop at the radiology building:

Yes please, can you make mine a double??

Apr 6, 2011

Wordless Wednesday: Balancing on a Candle

Balancing on a Candle

Bad tooth fairy

IMG_0934 Writing this while watching Calliou with a puny toddler, her 104 fever dropped down to 100, and her arm/leg spasms calmed by around 3AM last night with the help of Ibuprofin. She's still got a nasty little cough. I was able to fall asleep at 4. Around 6AM she woke up screaming again and asked to sleep in my bed, which is unusual for her. She has always loved her own bed, even as a baby. At 7:30 I awake to the sound of crying again, but this time from my 6 year old. It took me a moment to register what he was saying, but when he got his words out, my heart sank; I had forgotten to retrieve the tooth he lost and replace it with a dollar.


Through his tears he created fantastic stories of what could have happened. "Maybe she forgot her cat away, and the cat scared her?" "Maybe she is sick?" I offered. That was rejected. Then as if he was not sufficiently traumatized, wailing part two ensues. I guess he was playing with the tooth on the floor and it fell down the vent. Now he was facing another possibility.. not only did the tooth fairy forget him, but now she was never going to come! He decided that maybe if he wrote a not and put it under his pillow, he could get back into her good graces. The note read "I m srrye, I lost my tooth". Thankfully his brother helped him dig it out. However I still had to figure out what to do. To buy some time to think up a convincing lie decent plan, I sent him off to the shower. Since he has a bunk bed, I put a dollar under a pillow in his top bunk. Silly mama, how dare I assume he didn't overturn every pillow. He saw through my deception immediately.

We settled on a story that maybe the tooth fairy was just running late, his brother convinced him that maybe a lot of children in china has lost their teeth. After all that, the little turkey wanted me to put his crisp new dollar I picked out just for him, into his checking account. Love that boy!

Next time he loses a tooth, I am insisting he hangs his sister's "Welcome Tooth Fairy" pillow on his door knob, as a reminder for her not to fly on by.

Apr 5, 2011

Ultimate Blog Party 2011

Ultimate Blog Party 2011

I wasn't planning on joining the UBP 11, but it is 2:45am and I am up with a sick 2 year old, so I figured this sure beats watching Sesame Street on Sprout with her, but still allows me to cuddle with her.

So if you found me on UBP11, let me introduce myself.

I am a Heather, a 32 year old full time Domestic Engineer. Obviously my shift does not end at 5pm, sometimes I get lucky and I get to go on break from 9pm-7am. If I am even luckier, it is uninterrupted and insomnia stays away.

    Ten Facts about me/us
  • I have five kids, 4 boys, 1 girl.
  • The boys are 14, 13, 6, and 3 months; the little girl is 2 1/2.
  • I have been married to my husband for almost 14 years.
  • We married when we were just teenagers.
  • I was an Army wife for 8 years and lived at two different installations.
  • My hubby is now a PMC (Private Military Contractor) working in Afghanistan.
  • I have spent 3 years of my life being a geographically-separated parent, and I just started on the 4th year. Not single or solo parent, as hubby is very involved, but you can only do so much when you are 6,000 miles apart.
  • Despite having 5 kids, I am an infertility survivor. I adopted my oldest son through a stepparent adoption almost five years ago. My 2nd oldest was conceived easily. My 3rd child took 6 years to conceive after many failed months with a specialist and infertility drugs. My 4th child took 2 years to conceive and I needed fertility medications combined with an IUI. My 5th child was quite the surprise!
  • I try to be as natural of a parent as I can be. I believe in extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing, and natural childbirth.
  • Despite believing in Natural Childbirth, I have only achieved it once, and that is when I had my 4th child at home, in the water.

My blog title, Mistakes in Motherhood, stems from my belief that we are all flawed, and parents are not immune. As a mom I know I have made many mistakes, said things I regret, done things that make me cringe, but in the end they are all learning experiences. I look forward to meeting new moms (and dads) so we can share and learn from each other.

I just started a Facebook page, so be sure to follow me, but be patient as I learn what the heck I am doing! :)

Tackle it Tuesday, April 5

Tackle It Tuesday Meme

Wow, it has been FOREVER since I tackled, but I did it, I feel wonderful, and I am so proud of the work I did. So join me for a well deserved cup of coffee, and enjoy my mayhem & foolishness.

Today I tackled my master bedroom suite. I have not cleaned my bedroom since Bobby left for Afghanistan, at the end of February! GROSS!! I have however cleaned my bathroom weekly. So yeah, it was horrible. I am sharing a room with my sweet 3 month old, so the room is pretty cramped. I took the before pictures at 2am this morning, because I knew I would not be motivated to tackle the room today if I waited until after I went to bed (I wasn't) so that is why I have day & night shots. It took me about 3 hours to tackle these rooms.


Here is the changing table before & after. I designed this using a chrome shelving unit, baskets, and a changing table pad. I love it, and it all can be re-purposed later when he grows up.


His side of the bed before, and after.


My side of the bed (with a sleeping Liam), before, and after. Somehow I guess I either didn't photograph, or upload the box of cords & miscellaneous crap piled between the shelf and night stand. Now that the co-sleeper is gone, I probably should switch the bookshelf and night stand back. I didn't think of that until just now. I had switched them out before Liam was born so I could have him in the co-sleeper next to my bed, which he hated.


My dresser, before and after.


Liam's crib.


Ah, bliss, here is a full room shot. It feels like a sanctuary once again.

And finally:

The sink portion of my master bedroom. I just recently cleaned the shower and toilet side of the bathroom, so I didn't take before/after pictures of it.

So there you have it. Probably the thing I am most proud of are things you can't see. I dusted the tops of everything, the ceiling fan, the blinds, the back of the TV. I cleaned under every dresser, nightstand, shelf, and under the beds. I vacuumed the top of my bed rails, the mattresses, Liam's sheep skin, in the closet.

I hope you enjoyed this post. I am going to drink a million more cups of coffee, fold diapers, and wait for the chinese I ordered to be delivered while watching a movie with the kids. I earned this. Oh, and no post is complete without a sleeping baby picture. Enjoy!

Sweet baby Liam