Jan 26, 2009

Positive changes

A couple weeks ago, I had a good cry fest to my friend Lynne about feeling lost; she was there for me when Bobby went to Iraq the first time as a soldier. Her husband is still enlisted AND she works for the military helping spouses through deployments. I was feeling dejected by all my friends and I felt like I was alone. A couple of my military "friends" made me feel like crap because "I don't have it as tough as they do", an acquaintance made me feel bad by venting and saying I felt like a single mom. She snapped at me and said I was clueless to the trials and tribulations of a single parent because I have my husband's income. I was feeling dejected by anyone I felt I related with, and my circle of support kept feeling smaller & smaller.

Lynne offered me her shoulder and then kicked my butt into action. She gave me some ideas on how to make this year easier on all of us, some of which I have already set into action.

  • Find a church family and attend regularly

  • Join the YMCA for the kids & I to have an activity together & apart

  • Find someone to help me with the kids, a babysitter, mother's helper, or drop-in daycare

  • Find someone to help me with household chores, someone to help me clean

The day after I spoke to her on the phone, I attended a church I have been wanting to visit for years.
I have found a neighbor who is a member of the YMCA, and I have found another friend who said she would join if I did. I have not found childcare yet, but I have a few ideas for help with housekeeping. I hope to continue to make positive changes in our lifestyle that nourish our minds, bodies & souls.


Amy said...

Heather, having been on both sides of it, with DH enlisted and now working as a contractor, it all sucks. DH left this morning for Guam for 2 1/2 weeks, and I hate it. And yes, sometimes I feel caught in that "you don't have it that bad" trap since we do have the ability to keep in touch more than a deployed person.

Lynne said...

Heather, you are a rockin' woman! And stronger than you know....because you've been there and done that.. I just reminded you of it :)